Don't Analyse That
by Chelsee6
Summary: COMPLETE set after Pippa attacks Neil, as said on top of first chap, it's a random SamNeil one i don't know what i was thinking writing it but i may as well post it, please reveiw, even if you don't like it.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Analyse That**

Set after Neil's father in law dies, and Pippa attacks him 

_Sam's POV_

"Guv, are you ok?" I asked him sitting on his desk after I closed the door, I felt for him what I had never felt towards him before. I felt sorry for him, usually with people I think, they made their bed…but with Neil it's different. He brings a mix of emotions that I can't begin to describe, I respect him as a copper and as a person, I resent him for his job, the job that should have been mine, but I didn't resent him nearly as much as I should. I don't resent him nearly as much as I want him.

"Fine, nothing much wounded except my pride" he replied, his hand still held to his smarting cheek.

"Why did she fly off the handle?" I was curious I admit it, but I didn't want to pry, I hoped I hadn't over stepped the mark.

"She blames me for her father's death" he replied, I don't know what this means, he's being so open and honest with me and there's a look in his eyes that I can't place.

"Oh, right. Well if there's anything I can do" I murmur, hoping I'm reading him right.

"You don't know anyone with a spare room do you?" he joked wryly. I wonder if he is deliberately testing the waters, something tells me he is.

"I have, if you want" I offer, my heart speed picks up wondering if this is a good idea but it's too late to take it back now.

"Are you sure?" he asked, it's definitely a mixed message question, I've been a profiler long enough to know that, he's asking if I'm sure I want to do this, under the guise of asking me if I'm sure I want to let him use my spare room. Spare room –I don't think so.

"Yeah, Abi's staying with my mother so no wailing baby to keep you awake" I reply, I'm letting him know that there will be no one there but us, he smiles in satisfaction, I think this is what both of us have wanted but we haven't given into it before, because of Phillipa. I wonder if he'll regret this later, I wander if they will work it through. Somehow I doubt it.

"Mmmm, I keep forgetting you're a granny" he comments laughing, probably at the look on my face, I swipe my hand at his shoulder, hitting him lightly, I wonder if this was a mistake considering what just happened but nothing in his face changes so I decide to ignore it, my life has been spent analysing too much, now's a chance for me to let my hair down and I intend to take it.

"Thanks for the offer, if it's not too much trouble" he murmurs getting back to our original topic of conversation.

"No, no trouble" I reply excited. "I'll see you after the shift yeah?"

"Yeah" he nodded and I got up, leaving the office and closing the door. My mind is reeling with what he promised me with his eyes that for a moment I don't realise that Phil Hunter is standing beside me. "How is he?" he asks as I retuned to my desk.

"He's ok, bruised pride but other than that" I replied. He gets the message and leaves me alone, I try to concentrate on my paper work but it's not working so I decide it will be better use of my time to go and see Gina. I hope she doesn't realise that something's up, I know she's not Neil's biggest fan, frankly if anyone finds out I don't see how I can even _predict_ their reaction, there's so much resentment towards him here, I know he earned a lot of it but it's just his mannerisms that have collected a lot too. In some ways there would be more prejudice towards us then there would be towards me and Phil. I knock gently on Gina's door, she calls for me to come in, she looks a bit frazzled for a moment but then she masks it, she's a bit like me in that respect. She smiles and gestures for to sit down, I close the door and take the offered seat.

"What's on your mind?" she asks fishing in her draw for the bottle of scotch I know is hidden in there and a couple of glasses. Pouring them both half full she waits for my answer, I'm unsure of how to reply as I know she will smell a lie a mile off. "A lot of things, don't really feel like talking about it" I murmur

"Good, cause I don't feel like listening to you" Gina muttered but I could tell her ears were twitching. She would never admit it but she loves to gossip.

"So, how's the cancer going?" I ask for a topic of conversation, I know most people would think I'm mad for asking and I'm just going to get my head bitten off –but hey, I am mad and frankly I don't care if I get my head bitten off –I want to know that she's ok. Gina stiffened for a minute then she sighed and relaxed. "I finished the chemo and radiation therapy last month and I just have to wait another two for the all clear" she answered.

"That's great" I replied, "Have you thought more about what I said at our last group session?"

Gina chuckled, "I have and my answer is still the same, he made it quite clear that we were over"

"Maybe that was because he didn't want to be hurt again, from what I hear he's single again" I smirk. So I love gossiping too, it that so wrong?

She stared at me amazed, "Have you been spying on him?" she accused

"No, not spying…" I trailed off grinning, "Maybe spreading rumours and giving a few hints"

"You haven't" she pleaded and I just smiled.

"Someone has to give on of you two a kick in the right direction, I just happen to be kicking both of you, albeit through someone else.

"Who" she demanded and I smirked, she would also never admit that she wanted Jonathan to come back. She was lonely without him. His daughter Chloe and I had met while she was waiting for him at the courthouse, we talked.

"Someone who can see how miserable Jonathan is without you"

"He is not…is he?" she sounded hopeful and I decided that my mission had been completed for today. I finished my whiskey and set the cup down. Gina held up the bottle but I shook my head, "I'm driving" I murmured wondering if I really would be driving.

I knocked on Neil's door, wondering if he was ready to go, it was after the end of the shift anyway. I opened the door and he smiled at me, that look in his eyes again, "I wondered where you got to, I checked the office when the shift finished"

"I was talking to Gina" I answered truthfully

"Ah, one of your notorious 'group sessions'" he winked at me as my mouth almost dropped open, but I did maintain my dignity –just. ­­­­"You're' not the only one who likes to gossip" he whispered in my ear, leaning forwards and making my heart rate pick up speed again. God, how could he know me this well already? I reminded myself not to analyse this, that was my resolve, not to analyse our relationship no matter how short it is. –Or long.

I ignored his comments and asked, "You coming now or shall I write the address down?" I asked raising my eyebrows, smiling.

"I'm coming" he answered turning to pick up a couple of bags that I assumed Phillipa had dropped off for him. We headed down and he put them in his boot, I got into my car after we agreed that he would follow me home, I guess he wanted his car with him just in case he had to leave for some reason, I can't blame him for taking precautions.

"I'm just going to get changed and call Abi, make yourself at home" I told him heading upstairs and grabbing the phone.

I had a long conversation with Abi while I changed, she seemed to be having a lot of fun at her grandma's and she said she might be staying up there for a bit longer, I said she should stay up there for as long as she wanted, or as long as Mum would put up with her. Abi laughed and told me that Gran –Mum had invited her to stay another two months. I felt a pang of regret for telling her to stay up there that long, I missed her and Pip terribly but she assured me that she was only going to stay another week or two. About half an hour later I was lying on my bed still talking to Abi when there was a knock on my door. "Listen Abi I've got to go, I'll talk to you soon, love you"

"Is there someone there mum?" Abi asked confused

"Yeah, I'll explain later" I answered and hung up I didn't want to have to explain this to Abi yet, wait till she got home then she could talk to her face. I scrambled off the bed and opened the door to find Neil standing there awkwardly.

"Umm –I figured I might as well earn my keep, I made dinner" he muttered smiling. I smiled back, "Really? You didn't have to do that, what are we having?" I moved out and headed down the stairs, taking in the delicious smell, swaying my hips from side to side as I descended the stairs. He was looking I know he was.

As he served up the pasta I retrieved a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses, we moved into the lounge room and sat down on the sofa in front of the telly I switched it on and I think it was tuned to a inane sitcom, I'm not sure because I was too busy pretending not to be fighting Neil's feet with my own. Eventually I had finished my pasta and my glass of wine, I rocked forwards on my feet, reaching for the wine bottle on the table. Shakily I poured myself another glass and I set it down on the table as I replaced the bottle, I felt Neil's arm snake around my waist and pull me up onto his lap so that my feet were laying along the length of the sofa, my heart was thudding in my chest and my breath was coming in short gasps.

"Come on Sam" he whispered his lips millimetres from mine, "We've waited too long" he continued and I nodded, speechless, a rare occurrence. Then his lips were on mine, kissing me, his hands were under my top, tracing swirly patterns on my back. I kissed him back as my fingers tried to undo his buttons hastily. I have to admit that I have had quite a bit of practice so his shirt was undone in a matter of seconds. My hands started repeating the swirly patterns he had traced on my back, on his chest. His hands moved upwards, my shirt with them, lifted my arms so that he could get it off and after it was on the floor he started kissing my neck, his lips soft and warm. He leant forwards so I could push his shirt off his shoulders and then his hands moved to my jeans, hastily undoing the button then pushing them down my legs. I kicked them off the rest of the way, my hands had already undone his belt and the fastenings on his pants. I moved my right leg over him so that I was straddling his lap. He stood up and his pants fell away. Gently he carried me upstairs to my room, my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist.


	2. Chapter 2

I know some of you wanted to see a punch up, but no in this chapter, I kinda skipped ahead six months, though hopefully that should be obvious from the first sentence. Thanks to those of you who have reviewed, you make me all so happy, and please please please review again, the good the bad or the ugly I can take it. I have to if I want to be a writer right?

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I opened my eyes and smiled up at the man I had woken up to for the last six months, I can't remember when I was so happy. I realise what has woken me and I go to get up and see to Pip, Abi has the flu so we are looking after him while she recuperates at Lynnie's. Neil's arm pulls me back down, "Leave him for a minute" he whispers kissing me so that I am speechless, he still does that to me after all this time and I wonder why that is but then I stop myself, if I analyse this I will realise how little sense it makes and that's what I love about it. After I've seen to bub I check the time, its almost time for the baby sitter to be here, I finally managed to convince Neil to come out clubbing with me, he's too uptight and I admit a lot of the time I am too, but every now and then I like to have a bit of fun. I head back to our room and make him get up with the lure of a shower. When we're both clean I throw him his black shirt telling him to wear it, he looks so sexy in black. I head to our walk-in-wardrobe and pull the outfit I had decided on off its hanger. Today had been a great day, no work, no obligations, we had had the house to ourselves, unless you count bub, Neil loves him, and Abi, and she loves him back. I'm glad they get along. Shimmying into my dress I look at my reflection, it suits me and I head out. Neil's reaction was exactly what I was looking for, he did a dignified double take and he crossed the room kissing me deeply. I pulled away laughing, "We'll never get out of here if you keep that up" I reprimanded him and he raised his eyebrows letting me know that he didn't think that would be too bad. I headed into the bathroom to put on some make up and to admire the dress again. It was black, block cut across the top with spaghetti straps and silver threads woven into it making it sparkle and shine. Not like something I usually wear as it doesn't even come down to my knees but God it makes me feel good. We head out half an hour later and when we get to the club we grab a table and Neil heads off to buy us a couple of drinks. I take a sip and smiled at him, leaning towards him so he can hear me a tell him, "Thanks for coming"

"Hey, it's what I'm good for" he said, his eyes glinting.

"You're good for much more" I murmur leaning in for a searing kiss. He shifts and pulls me in close, his hands wandering across the material covering my back, what little there is. A minute later I pull away from him, smiling I take another sip of my drink then lean across, "Let's finish these, I want to see what you're like on the dance floor"

He glances at my drink, "Can I try a bit of that?" he asked and I slid it across the table towards him, he slid his drink over to me and we finished them then I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the dance floor. The first song was relatively fast and I was surprised and not in equal measure when I found he could keep up with me, somehow I hadn't even tried to guess what he would be like when I got him here. I wondered why that was then I stopped, _no analysing_ I reminded myself. The next dance was slower and I think Neil was glad of that I think he was a bit tired out. "Are you ok?" I asked him worried. He tried to smile then he slumped over me unconscious. My heart rate speed up and I felt a scream swell in my throat "Neil, Neil, someone help me, call an ambulance" I screamed laying him down on the floor, there was commotion around us and I could only hope that someone had called an ambulance as I started CPR, his heart wasn't beating. I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks, I couldn't lose him, I loved him. I loved him so much I felt my life would tear in two if he didn't wake up _now!_ I realised that this was true at the moment that the paramedics pulled me away. "Do you know him?" they asked. I nodded, unable to answer. The paramedic that had spoken to me, Greg, I read his badge, lead me toward the ambulance helping me in and then turning his attention to Neil.

"Did he take anything, any drugs?" he asked me. Neil? Drugs? I was confused, he would never use drugs. "Did he take anything?" he repeated glaring at me.

"No" I answered, "He's a police officer, he would never." I shook my head as we sped through London, we got to Saint Hughes faster than I would have thought possible the number of times I've been here.

Greg ushered me into the waiting room and then he hurried off pushing Neil down the corridor away from me. I slumped into the chair but it wasn't long before I decided in needed a drink, I found a vending machine and pushed in the coins, pushing the button for a coke. Usually it would have been coffee but I felt like I would overheat if I had one of those right now.

"Aren't you cold?" said someone behind me and a felt my heart lift slightly as a recognised the voice. "Eva" I exclaimed as I turned around. She did a double take, not surprising considering what I was wearing. "Sam?" it was definitely a question, I admit that I have changed so much since I last saw her, my hair is longer now, and inch past my shoulders, it's thicker and straighter, the makeup I was wearing is definitely not something I would wear into the office. Dark eyeliner and eye shadow, earrings that threatened the scrape my shoulders not to mention the dress. I smiled, "It's good to see you" I told her truthfully.

"I would agree if I was sure that you are you" she murmured and I laughed shortly, I was too worried about Neil to appreciate the humour properly.

"I was out clubbing" I tried to explain.

She shook her head, "No, not helping your argument, it just makes me think that you really are some sort of alien taking over your body.

At that moment a nurse came up taking in my attire she assumed I was the one who had come in with Neil, I wondered what the medics had said to give her such a poor opinion of me. "Miss Nixon I assume?" she asked I nodded. "Your Boyfriend has taken in an overdose of methamperoxadil, do you have any idea how he got that. She obviously thought I have given it to him, judgemental bitch.

"Methamperoxadil?" Eva asked alarmed "Are you sure?"

"And you are?" the nurse asked sniffily.

"DS Eva Sharpe" Eva answered pulling out her ID card. "We've been investigation a recent string of Murders, I'm just waiting on news of the last victim, we got to her before she bled out but it's still touch and go" she explained to me. "He has moved through almost every Burra in London and some outside of it. This sounds like his pattern, he drugs the girls drink and waits till she goes outside to take a breath of fresh air then drags her off and kills her, did your –Boyfriend…have any of your drink?" she asked she paused on the word Boyfriend, I could tell from her look that it was confirming her assumption that I was some sort of extraterrestrial.

I nodded, "Yeah, he bought our drinks and sat down and…oh God" I realised that the attacker's only opportunity was when we had kissed. I felt another tear roll down my cheek, "It's was only a _kiss_" Eva waited patiently for me to continue but I could see she was uncomfortable, I wasn't the same person she remembered but she was still the same person I remembered. "He sat down and I took a sip then we kissed for a minute –less." I took a deep breath, "then I took another sip of my drink, we swapped drinks and then we started dancing. A few minutes later he collapsed on me." I choked, the tears were rolling thick and fast now and I didn't bother trying to stop them, another mark of how much I had changed. "I think I knocked him" I muttered meaning the monster who had drugged my drink, who had put Neil in hospital.

"Explains the overdose" the nurse muttered as she placed the back of her hand on my forehead. "You're burning up" she told me and she lead me along the corridor to a room and made me sit down. "This is going to hurt a bit" she warned me as she jabbed the needle into my arm, it did hurt a bit but I'm usually ok with needles. A minute later I was hooked up to an IV and she was about to bustle off.

"Is he going to be ok?' I asked hopefully

"We think so, he should be awake in a couple of hours then you can ask him yourself" she answered smiling at me kindly, I think it was the tears that changed her attitude towards me.

"So, you really like this guy huh?" Eva asked after she had left. I felt my cheeks flush as I remembered Eva's history with Neil, it wasn't exactly amiable in the best light. I nodded.

"You've changed" she stated

"You haven't" I countered

We sat in silence for a minute then she asked, "How's Abi?"

"Good, considering" I answered. I realised that too much time had passed, too much had happened sine we had last spoken. "She's god the flu at the moment" I murmured. Another minute of silence passed this time I was the one who broke it, "I'm a grandma now, did you know that?" I asked softly, I see her eyebrows rocket up and there is a twitch of a smile on her lips.

"No, I didn't know that" she murmured.

"It's a long story, believe me, but Abi's coping well, we've got the little one for a while though, because of her flu"

"We?" she inquires grinning.

"Oh, sorry, we're living together" I mumble, for the past few minutes I've been trying to imagine Eva's reaction, I know she doesn't like him.

She shook her head, "I really can't wait to meet this guy, he must be something special" she laughed and I smiled back, now that I know Neil's going to be ok I could start to relax a little bit.

"What does Abi think of him?" she asked.

"It was a bit awkward at first I'll admit, she didn't know what to make of him, he is a bit hard to read if you don't know him, but know they get along really well"

"And what does he think of…what's your…grandchild's name?" Eva asked realising I hadn't told her the sex or his name. I smirked, Abi had met Phil on previous occasions and she had thought we had gotten on quite well, which I admit we did but I never saw him in _that_ light. "It's Phillip" I reply, the look on her face is priceless as her smile drops then increases in wattage. "After Phil Hunter?" she asked and I nodded.

"Unfortunately"

"Wait a minute…you and Phil…you're not–?" she let the question hang for a moment and I laughed shaking my head. "God no"

"Thank God, I would have worried for your sanity other wise."

I was tempted to say 'you are going to worry for my sanity anyway, when you find out', I wondered if I should tell her but no, the look on her face would be too priceless. I smiled just thinking about it but quickly hid it in case she saw. We talked for another hour or so then she had to go and talk to the nurses about her latest victim and I was left on my own for a while, she came back after about forty minutes and I could see that she must have died, Eva looked so down. "I'm sorry" I murmured and she nodded sitting down, we didn't say anything for about ten minutes, each lost in our own little worlds, I was thinking about Neil and wondering when he would wake up, I needed to thank him for saving my life. I thanked God that we had decided we should get Lucy to baby-sit, she's my niece and she was going to stay the night so if we got home late she wouldn't be too tired tomorrow. At least she and Pip would be ok. Eva broke the silence eventually asking, "So, where did you meet him?" she asked I assumed she was referring to Neil.

"At work" I murmur smiling.

"So he's a copper then?" I nod

"Anyone I know?" I nod again but then the nurse comes in.

"How you feeling?" she asks me checking the IV bag and my temperature.

"Bit chilly" I answered, she hands me my coat and lets me sit up and put it on. She pulls out the intravenous needle and smiles, "Your Boyfriend's awake, you can go and see him now, he seems like quite a nice man, albeit a bit impetuous"

"What's he done?" I ask my heart thudding with relief knowing that he's ok. But Neil? Impetuous?

"He was asking after you, when he found out that you had been drugged too he wanted to come charging down here, I told him I'd come and get you"

I smiled at her gratefully, "Thankyou, where is he"

"I'll show you the way" she answered and she strode out the room, I followed quickly and Eva got up and came too. She pointed down the corridor that we had eventually come to and said fifth room on your left. I ran down and heard her comment to Eva as I did, "Love is wonderful isn't it?" as soon as I saw Neil sitting up in bed I threw my arms around his neck, though it was more dignified and less of a cliché than that I promise. He chuckled and buried his head in my neck. "Are you ok?" he murmured.

I nodded, "You?" he nodded. I tipped up his chin and kissed him softly, feeling his tongue gently probing around inside my mouth, God I can't begin to describe how good that felt when I realised how close I had come to loosing him. "Don't you ever do that to me again" I told him as firmly as I could while punctuating each word kissing his lips.

"Well if you didn't always attract psychopaths" he muttered.

"You mean you must be mad?" I asked grinning, it was a running joke within out household, even Jake had started calling him crazy, God that kid was adorable.

"I must be, look where I am, only with you could clubbing end up in the hospital" he muttered, his eye's glinting. I pecked him on the nose then quickly hurried to the bathroom. After I washed my hands and splashed a bit of water on my face I headed towards the door. I opened it just as Eva and the nurse entered, I saw Eva goggle at Neil then she frowned, "Are you sure this is the right room?" she muttered to the nurse. Neil heard her and turned to the door. I could see the surprise on his face, then a flash of guilt, I guess he was remembering why she had eventually left. And that had only because she was digging into his father-in-law, who was now dead. And her suspicions had been right.

"Hello Eva" he said, smiling at her nervously, I stood back to watch.

"Hello Sir, what are you doing here?" she asked still frowning.

Neil sighed and decided not to answer her question instead he broke eye contact and said, "Eva, about your transfer, I'm sorry" I smiled feeling a swell of pride, most men would be too proud to admit they had been wrong.

Eva blinked back surprise, "Thankyou" she muttered after almost a full minute.

"I suppose you heard Roy Pearson died?" Neil sighed, laying his head back down on the pillows.

"Yeah, I heard about it" Eva muttered, I could see she couldn't make head nor tail of it. She still hadn't noticed me. "Sorry about that, I didn't really want to be right" she muttered, I could tell she was thinking of the poor boys he had abused.

"I know" Neil muttered.

"So, what are you doing here?" Eva asked, a copper to the bone, always curious. Though she had stepped back to the door assuming that this was the wrong room and going to go and look for me.

Neil sighed, "Sam, stop hiding" he called. I came out laughing silently. Eva did a double take when she saw me and her eyes opened wide as she goggled first at me then Neil and back again.

"You –huh? What?" she stammered speechless. The nurse had checked Neil's blood pressure and heart rate and pulled out his IV while we had been talking and now Neil sat up and he grabbed me around the waist, pulling me in for a hug as he stood up. I forgot all about Eva as I felt his lips on mine, sending I shiver down my spine. I pulled away a few moments later shaking my head and swatted playfully at his shoulder, "You know, I think you had too much methaperaoxathingy" I laughed. I could see Eva staring at me again, she was probably convinced about the existence of body snatchers by now. "Well well" the nurse twittered and she bustled around, she handed some papers to Neil and tried to usher us out of the room. I wrinkled my nose in annoyance and Neil turned to me as if he could sense my dislike and he mouthed, "Play nice" I glared at him and stuck out my tongue. It's not _nearly_ as immature as it sounds. I heard Eva giggle beside me as he poked his tongue out back at me. "Looks to me like you worked magic, made him remotely human" she muttered, she wasn't trying to hide her dislike of him to please me and I was glad about that but I still pouted at her, I swear that drug effected me more than I thought it had.

Eva and I headed back to the waiting room to wait for Neil to change, talk to the doctor and sign his discharge papers. As soon as we got there Eva rounded on me, "You're _dating_ Neil Manson?" she asked incredulously. "What happened to he's the foundation of all evil?" she demanded.

I laughed, "He's not that bad really, he's changed since you left. Actually a lot of people have changed" I thought it was best to divert to conversation far away from this topic. "I assume you've heard rumours"

"Yeah, I think everyone has, what was it about Rob Thatcher shooting Irene Radford?"

"Yeah, Ken took that really hard" I murmured, "But now he's dead" we kept talking for a while, 'til Neil came out through the swinging double doors. I rushed over and gave him a big hug, he hugged me back murmuring, "I think that drug effected you more than it did me" I laughed as I had been thinking the same thing. We kissed and I heard Eva mutter, "Like bloody teenagers" I smiled.

"Let's go home" I murmured.

"Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about first" Eva interjected, "I assume Sam explained what happened, and about our investigation?" she directed that at Neil. He nodded. "Well this guy –he has what you might call a superiority complex…he doesn't like it when they get away." I felt shiver go down my spine as she said that. "The last girl that managed to get away from him, her mates came outside with her and called her a cab, he hunted her down and…it wasn't pleasant" she didn't go into details and I was glad. If it was bad for her it would be terrible for us, after all that was her job.

"Are you saying that he might come after Sam again?" Neil asked.

Eva nodded, "It is a probability, I'd like to assign you a guard until we catch him" she continued. Neil nodded, he was holding me close, he knew that I was scared and he could probably feel me shivering too, it was cold now and I wanted to get home to the warmth. "I don't think he will try tonight, but we need to put surveillance on you, this is the type of guy that never gives up, he won't kill anyone else till he had killed you, we need to watch you and see who is watching you, I'll organise for someone to come round and escort you to the station in the morning. We nodded and Neil and I headed outside leaving here there. He hugged me while we waited for a cab, "Are you scared?" he asked, "God knows I am"

"But you're not the one he's after" I pointed out.

"I'd feel better if I was" he murmured, "I love you"

"I know, I love you too" it was freezing cold and about two in the morning and we had reached that milestone, we had both said those three words for the first time, "I love you"


	3. Chapter 3

True to her word Eva sent round an officer to drive us to work, we hadn't told any one about us yet so it was going to be difficult to explain, thankfully we didn't have to as Eva was already there and she had already informed Jack Meadows that she was going to being using the station as her office to run this investigation. There was already a hoard of press out there so we were able to sneak in the back way. I dumped my stuff on my desk then I headed towards Neil's office, he was at the door beckoning me in. After he closed the door he held me tight and kissed me, this wasn't the first tryst we had had during to working day.

"It's going be ok" he whispered, I could hear that he wished his words were true, or that he could guarantee they would be.

"Neil, I've been thinking" I started, he looked worried

"Uh-oh" he murmured, running his finger down my cheek.

"If he wants me…why don't we use that to our advantage, he doesn't know I'm a copper and he wont be expecting it" I started trying to phrase my plan rationally, the problem was it was anything but rational, even I knew that. He pulled away from me.

"You're suggestion we use you as _bait_?" he spat furious that I had even considered it. "No way, I'm not going to let you be put at risk, you _can't_" his voice changed from angry to pleading at the end and I felt really guilty. "I love you, please promise me, for today, you won't leave the office." He pleaded. I could hear a note of urgency in his voice.

"I promise" I murmured, "But I still think we should give my idea a shot"

"_No!_ I can't lose you, not like…" he trailed off and my eyebrows knitted together, "Like who?" I demanded, "Like _Phillipa_?" I couldn't believe this. I didn't know if my heart was still beating or not, but I could feel the blood rush to my head as my anger grew as he still refused to answer.

"I can't believe you, you tell me you love me and all this time you've been thinking about _her?_"

"No, that's not it" he protested reaching out towards me but I stepped back and he let his hand drop to his side, the look on his face was pained.

"What is it like then? Did she ask you to get back together and now you wish you had accepted, tried again?"

"No–" he sighed, "She did ask me to give it another go yes, but I said no, I said I loved someone else, you. And I still do, but…before we got together…" he trailed off turned to face the window, "Before we got together there was someone else, even though I was with Phillipa, I didn't love her, not like I love you, but I did care for her"

My throat felt constricted, "And you lost her?"

He nodded, "She died" he said simply. I wanted to know who it was but I could see it hurt him to talk about it so I didn't push it, he would tell me if and when he was ready. I stepped over to where he was standing, still facing the window and I circled my arms around his waist, leaning my head on his back and breathing in the scent of his cologne. He twisted in my arms and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. "I'm sorry" I whispered.

"It's ok, you didn't know" he murmured. I decided I could push my idea another time, maybe I could take it up with Eva, though he would hate me for it I didn't want this hanging over our heads. We were still locked in our embrace when the door opened and we jumped apart like guilty teenagers.

"It's ok, it's only me" Eva laughed. It seemed, once she had gotten used to the idea, she liked knowing something that no one else did. I smiled back at her, kissed Neil goodbye then headed back out to the office, it was clear she wanted to talk to him about something.

I was working a robbery case with Suzie and Zain so I thought I should go and do that. Suzie filled me in on what they had learnt so far and I nodded, pleased. "Ok, Suzie you go and talk to Malcolm McKenna again. Zain, you chase up associates of Calvin Glen"

They nodded and were about to leave when Zain asked me, "What are you going to do Sarge?"

I looked over to see Neil standing at the door of his office, listening to our conversation, I raised my voice slightly to make sure he heard me, "I'm going to be a good girl and stay in the office, probably catch up on some paperwork"

Zain grinned, "Rather you than me" he smirked and hurried off after Suzie. Neil walked over as she sat down at her desk, standing behind her me murmured, "Thankyou"

"I'm not going to drop it though, I don't want this hanging over us, always having to look over our shoulders" I maintained

"I know, I don't want this anymore than you do, but I don't want to lose you either" Neil muttered laying his hand comfortingly on my shoulder, my head inclined towards his hand instinctively but I stopped it, he applied a bit of pressure for comfort then withdrew his hand and headed back to his office. I got up immediately and tried to find Eva. I found her in the largest briefing room, her team assembling their case and pinning victims pictures up on white boards, I swallowed hard seeing what damage he had done but I steeled myself and walked over to Eva who had a corner of the office to herself.

She saw me coming and sighed, "Before you start Sam Neil outlined your plan for me and, as much as I detest him, he is right, it's too dangerous."

"So you want to just wait and hope you catching him before he gives up on me?" I asked, my anger rising, why had Neil told her, he had no right, he was probably trying to stop me going over his head. Maybe he ordered Eva not to involve me more than I already was, that wasn't fair. "Neil really cares about you Sam, you're lucky to have someone who loves you that much. And even if he hadn't talked to me my answer would still have been no" I sighed and stalked out of the office. The next few days were going to be unbearable, after that I suppose I'll get into some sort of routine.

"He likes you, you know that right?" Phil asked me, God the jealousy complex this man can harbour is amazing. I didn't say anything and he took that as conformation, "You are using that aren't you?" he accused, "You using that so you don't have to leave the station" he is _unbelievable_.

"Firstly, Neil does _not_ have a crush on me, and secondly, you think I _want _to stay in the station, frankly I'd rather be out there nicking crims. But bloody MIT have a bee in their bonnet and they believe that I should stay within a stones throw of one of their officers at all times. Do you think I like my home being invaded?" I spat, he looked surprised, the stupid Muppet.

"Why?" he asked, damn good question, I decided to have a little fun. He had been hounding me for months anyway, I'm amazed that Neil has been able to abstain from punching him in the gob.

"Last night I was out clubbing" I started, I could see his eyes light up and his brain cogs shake off the rust and kick into gear, he was wondering what I was wearing, I waited for him to ask.

"What were you wearing?" bingo.

"Black dress, spaghetti straps, came down to here," I made the dress about an inch or two shorter than it really was. "Has silver threads woven through it, skin tight, low cut, front _and_ back" I could see Phil mentally kicking himself for not being there, this was just too easy. When I thought he couldn't take any more without drooling I went back to my story, "Anyway, I was there with my boyfriend–" I stopped as his face changed, I was smiling slightly, but hiding it well.

"Boyfriend –what?" he demanded

"My boyfriend" I repeated, "And, as far as we worked out, we were kissing when someone slipped something into my drink, they think it's the same guy that MIT's trying to catch, and I drank a bit of my drink then we swapped drinks and he drank the rest of it. A few minutes later he keeled over on me and I ended up spending the rest of the night in the hospital. They think he's going to come after me again, hence all the extra protection." I finished, I stopped, he was frowning.

"Boyfriend –what?" he asked and I laughed.

"You really are priceless Phil" I said as I patted him on the head and got up to leave. I passed Gina on my way out and she raised her eyebrows at me, "First I've heard of a Boyfriend" she muttered and I could tell that she felt slightly hurt I hadn't told her yet. I admit I felt a small twinge of guilt and I ushered her into her office.

"Yeah, I was meaning to talk to you about that, do you mind if I bring a date to your wedding, I know it's only a small do and you didn't want anyone from here to know but–" I realised my mistake a moment too late and stopped what I was saying. Crap.

"So it's someone from here?" Gina asked delighted, she knew I hadn't meant to divulge that piece of information.

I bit my lip "Yeah" I nodded flushing slightly.

"Oh God, you're _blushing_" Gina crowed and I glared at her.

"Well, we both know I can keep a secret, I haven't told anyone about your wedding yet –not even him"

"And who is he?" Gina demanded

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked, I really didn't want this spread around the station, not yet.

"Of course I can" Gina retorted incensed.

"Just checking" I muttered smirking.

"Well, _who is he_?" Gina demanded

I sighed and took a deep breath, "It's Neil" I blurted out before I lost my nerve.

"Neil?" Gina frowned confused, "Neil Manson?"

I nodded, "Yeah"

Gina shook her head and burst out laughing, "You've got to be kidding" she said trying to calm herself down. "Good one, but who is it really?" she was still laughing after failing to calm down. I just stood there till she realised I wasn't joking. She stopped laughing for a moment, "You're _serious_?" she asked incredulously. I'm sure my face was a brilliant shade of red my now. For some reason she seemed to find it even funnier when I was telling the truth and she started laughing again. "You gotta keep this under your hat, yeah?" I warned her and she grinned.

"I'll have to borrow one from Sheelagh first" she muttered and I laughed.

"That's mean" I muttered just before the door opened and Phil poked his head in. Gina was still laughing and I put my head in my hands in shame.

"Care to share the joke?' he asked guessing what it was about, I'm sure. The look on his face was a mixture of jealousy and amusement.

"Not allowed to" Gina answered and started giggling again. I decided it was better to get out of here while I still had some dignity left. I knew it would be all around the station that I had a boyfriend by lunchtime. And that was only half an hour away.

I was right, this last week had been unbearable, and yet I'm finding myself complacent with it, and that terrifies me to death, what if they never catching him. From what I've heard he is very patient and he never makes mistakes, that's what makes him so good, they have no idea who he is have no idea for anything about him. His age, hair colour, height, build, _race_. He could be anyone. Those are all points I've used in my arguments against Eva and Neil and they have finally agreed to let me do this, the only problem I can see is that Neil wants to be observing possible targets so I'm stuck with Phil as my date. He hadn't spoken to me since I told him I had a boyfriend, I think he's jealous. _Sarcastic in case you didn't pick up on that_. I'm wearing a deep purple top, not nearly as revealing as the one I was wearing last Saturday, it has a simple round cut neck, with short sleeves and I'm wearing the shortest black skirt I own. It has to be at least an inch shorter than the black dress. Phil came over –uninvited I might add– to help me pick out an outfit and I showed him the black dress I had worn before, I could see him picturing it in his mind and allowed myself a small smile. I don't want to admit it but I'm scared, scared that I'll fail. Phil and I are sitting at my kitchen table waiting for eight o'clock to roll around, everyone will be in position by then.

"I'm sorry Sam" Phil murmurs so quietly for a moment I'm not sure he even spoke.

"What for?" I ask

"For this week, when you told me about your boyfriend, I admit I was jealous, stupid isn't it? But I am sorry, I don't know why I even thought you might be interested in me, jerk that I am"

I felt a pang of guilt, I felt sorry for him, "Hey, you're not that bad" I try to comfort him, "You used to be I admit, but you're different now, if circumstances were different–"

Phil chuckled again, "You mean if I knock off your boyfriend you might have me?" he joked. I smiled a little but shook my head, "Don't even joke about that, I almost lost him last week"

"How come he's not coming out with you tonight? Surely it would be better if you were seen with the same bloke?"

I hesitated not sure how to answer that, "MIT think it will be better if he thinks I'm a player, and he wants me to be safe so he's doing his best to make sure of that" I answered, hoping Phil would think that he wanted me to be with a copper so that he might be able to save me if and when I needed saving, rather than he wanted to be on scene to check that security arrangements were up to scratch. He didn't say anything more so I assumed he did.


	4. Chapter 4

this is the final installment of this story, if you're all really nice and reveiw i might consider writing a sequal but until then, i hope you enjoy.

again, please please please reveiw.

I think even Phil is surprised of my incredible acting skills –haha. They're not that good, but I think I channelled my nervousness into my cover, I was certainly acting completely out of character. When we entered the bar we got a table in the middle of the room again and Phil got our drinks. I tried to forget about the undercover officers in the bar and the camera that was set up so Neil could watch, he was probably watching me right now but I tried to put that out of my mind and pretend it was him here with me rather than Phil. I smiled at him taking a sip of my drink and then a song that I loved started and I took a deep breath, forcing myself to forget about my mission and just have fun. I grabbed Phil's hand and pulled him close, I knew how hard this must be for him, especially after what he had said earlier, so I tried to make it as easy as possible on him. I put my hands on his hips smiling up at him and made him dance with me, I think his heart must have been going mad but when I whispered a reminder of why we were here he nodded and relaxed visibly, he took a large gulp of his drink then he pulled me close and I could sense that he was enjoying himself a bit more, he kissed me deeply and I laughed internally, Neil would kill me –if I wasn't dead by the end of the night anyway.

I smirked at Phil and pulled away, I could see that there were a couple of guys looking at my arse who were standing by the bar. I don't think realised it before but other people seem to think I'm quite attractive, I mean I've flirted to get what I want before but…I don't know, I thought I was just because men were just interested in anyone who showed any interest in them. You have no idea what a confidence booster it was, but I was also quite scary, knowing that it attracts the wrong sort of guys as well as the right one.

I held my hand out to one of them and said, "Come dance with me" God I hated myself for a moment, I'm sure the other coppers watching were choking themselves to try and stop from laughing, or they were staring at me as though I was some sort of extraterrestrial and frankly I can't stay I blame them.

The guy I had asked to dance grinned and left his drink on the bar, grabbing my hand with his sweaty one and pulling me close. His other hand snaked around my waist and I almost recoiled away from him, it was sticky and disgusting. But I plastered a smile on my face and concentrated on moving my hips with his. His hand moved down to cop a feel of my arse and I almost slapped him but I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled my body closer to his laughing.

I knew that Phil was probably glaring and I had no doubt that Neil was too. But then he crossed the line, shoving his tongue down my throat, his hand behind my head so I couldn't pull away. I had to put up with it for almost a minute but then he had to come up for air. I wanted to 'deck him' as Abi would say but I restrained my self –just. Instead I shot him a sly grin and turned around, crossing the room back to Phil, I could see he hadn't been paying attention to the drinks, I had given who ever it was plenty of time to slip something in my drink, providing he was here, I hoped he was and hoped he wasn't in almost equal measure.

On the one hand I wanted to catch him and I didn't want to have to come back here, I can't imagine who they would get to be my date next time, I shuddered involuntarily, but on the other hand I don't want him near me and I really don't want to be drugged again. It makes you feel so helpless but I smiled at Phil, cupping him face in my hands and pressing my lips to his. He responded for a moment then he pushed me away, that was the plan, to have a fight. "What the hell is going on, you said you wanted to come out for a bit of fun then you start hooking up with other guys, you're nothing but a slapper" he shouted.

I laughed, "Come on, lighten up, this is fun" I told him sipping my drink and making sure it was the same level as his. He scowled at me and I sighed as I discretely swapped our drinks over, I hated doing that to him but if I was going to take on a serial killer I didn't want to be drugged out of my mind. I don't think anyone realised I had swapped the drinks, certainly I had had lot of practice with it, when I was younger and my dad was having a party, he would let me come even though I was underage. He knew the bartender and I had gotten quite good at ordering a pint of apple juice then swapping it for his beer when he wasn't looking. No one noticed in the smoky room, too dimly lit and having too much fun. He knew what I was doing of course, he could taste the difference between apple juice and beer, but I think he wanted to know where I was if I was experimenting with alcohol, I must have got pretty good because even when mum joined the parties she never noticed.

Phil still refused to speak to me so I downed the rest of his drink the got up again, "Fine, if you're gong to be like that why don't you leave?" I suggested feeling the alcohol coursing through my body, I turned around and my eyes settled on Jo, I knew I wasn't supposed to talk to her but I didn't care, and with the drink dulling my senses and ridding me of any inhibitions I walked up to her. She was sitting by the bar too, on a barstool. The bar was shaped like an L in the back right hand side of the bar if you were looking at if from the doorway, the dance floor was on the left and where as the guy had I come on to earlier had been standing at the base of the L next to the dance floor she was about half way down the straight. I stopped right next to here and could almost hear Neil's voice in my head saying, "What the hell does she think she's doing?" but I really didn't feel in the mood for hitting on anymore hot sweaty smelly guys.

I leaned against the bar next to Jo and smiled, "You look like you'd be up for a bit of fun, come join me" I told her, I wasn't going to give her a choice to say no because I knew she would. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me, she lid off the barstool effortlessly and I whispered in her ear, "Play along, there's a good girl" grinning at her and towing her onto the dance floor. I must admit I was surprised when she didn't put up more of a protest, but I found out the answer for that after we were dancing. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close, she put her arms around my neck, swaying her hips in time with mine, "Thanks" I whispered shooting a glance at Phil so anyone watching would think that I was trying to make him jealous.

"Anytime" she choked out and my head whipped back around to her, looking into her eyes I could see that, to my amazement, I could even tempt the other sex, God that did wonders for my self esteem, though I really felt bad about putting Jo and Phil in that position. But without that boost I didn't think even I would have had the audacity to lean forward and kiss Jo like I did. I know the booze helped some, she almost jumped back, then she responded and kissed me back. When we parted I glanced at Phil and I could see that he was definitely enjoying himself, apparently he liked seeing two women hooking up, even if he wasn't getting any. But I have to hand it to him, is face was twisted into a scowl which most would read as jealousy. I pulled away from Jo and stalked up to him, "What is you're problem?" I asked him, my words slurred and I made sure I stumbled.

"What's _my_ problem?" Phil asked incredulously. "You're the one flirting with anything in here that moves"

"That's cause you're being–" I stumbled against the chair, holding my hand to my head so he thought I had a headache. "Cause you're no fun" I mumble almost incoherently and I grabbed my bag and stumbled for the door. Phil almost went after me and I know it was only sheer will power that stopped him. I deliberately tripped as I got outside the door, to attract the attention of anyone not watching, I wanted all the coppers that were supposed to be watching me, watching me. There were a few people out there smoking and I stumbled up the street, up wind of them coughing. I stopped just near a laneway and leant my back against the cold hard brick, it felt rough and good, I realised I was burning up again, he was here then.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down, it had almost worked when I felt a hand clap over my mouth and a blade get pushed into my throat. He dragged me into the laneway and propped me up, I was deliberately not helping him or hindering him as I needed him to believe that I was as drugged as I pretended to be. He was wearing a balaclava and those eyes staring out from it gave me the chills. I waited, trying to seize an opportunity when it presented itself, I needed to catch him off guard so that the cavalry could steam in with out the possibility of me getting injured. If I thought those eyes had chilled me it was nothing compared to his voice, I felt a flare of compassion for those who had died at his hand, I couldn't imagine what that might be like and here I was, about to go through it myself, unless I could stop it.

The danger hadn't seemed real until now. "Before you die, you're going to answer a few questions. What's you're name?" he asked.

"Sam" I choked out, my tongue leaden with fear, and the mild effect of what little of the drug I had consumed.

"I assume that's short for Samantha" it was a statement but I nodded.

"Are you married Samantha?" he asked, his eyes glinting malevolently. I shook my head, thinking of Neil and tears sprung to my eyes. "Do you have any children?" he asked and I nodded. "I 'aveadaughter, Abi, she'seighteen" I answered, my words slurred together but he understood.

"And what's she doing?" he asked, "Is she at university?"

I shook my head, "She gave birth only nine months ago" I murmured

"So you're a grandmother?" even he couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice, I nodded.

"Do you think they will miss you?" he asked his voice becoming more gravely and harsh. I nodded. "Good" he snarled a he raised the knife, I took my opportunity and I head butted him, oh _God_ it hurt. But his hand continued it's downwards sweep and I felt a pressure in my abdomen. I looked down to the hilt of the knife he had been holding, sticking out at a twenty degree angle to my body I sighed annoyed. I had already felt someone pull him off me and heard the clasp of handcuffs. I felt Neil's arms wrap around me and I heard his voice as though he was really far away. "Sam, come on, don't do this, you can't leave me now" he said, his voice full of desperation. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the dark cloud that had settled in there, I assumed I had got a concussion when I head butted him but I would have only been mild and it was clearing up now.

"Where do you think I'm going?" I asked, the sound of what was happening around me coming back in a rush. Neil didn't answer me his eyes flicking down to the knife that was still sticking out of me. I struggled to stand up and he tried to stop me. "Sam, come on, sit here and let the paramedics come to you" he said, I glared at him and he let me up. But he did hover by my side as I expected him to. I grabbed the hilt of the blade, there was no point preserving any fingerprints on it as we had caught the guy red handed so to speak, the knife was almost wedged in and I had the wiggle it before it would come out. Neil stared at it, his hands quivering as if he wanted to stop me, but he didn't and I was glad, it meant he respected me and trusted my decisions. He stared at the blade as I held it up to the light, not a trace of blood on it. "Huh?" he muttered, almost unconsciously. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up a couple of inches revealing the custom designed, body fit stab vest.

"Where did you get that" Neil asked astounded, his voice full of relief.

"Tommy got it for me" I answered, referring to my brother who runs a customised goods store. Neil pulled me into a hug, his lips brushing over my hair, "Remind me to hug that man" he murmured.

"Will do" I promised, "Neil, erm–" I hesitated to bring this up. We had agreed to keep our relationship secret for a while after his divorce came through.

"I don't care" he whispered, "I'm just so glad that you're alive"

"Are you sure?" I asked hopefully.

He nodded, "Unless, you want to keep it quiet a bit longer?" he asked

I shook my head, "No, it's just, it's so soon after your divorce" I pointed out.

He laughed, I don't know if I mentioned it but I love his laugh, when he laughs properly the sound kind of resonates and it brings a happy feeling to everything. When I heard his laugh then, I immediately felt better. "I don't think six months is such a short time do you?" he asked, I could see Jack about fifteen feet away giving us a strange look. I had my arms wrapped tightly around Neil's waist and his arms were wrapped around my shoulders, his head was buried in my neck and mine in his.

"No" I answered smiling, "And it looks like they have already started to notice" I pointed out. He glanced up so he could see the look Jack was giving us, it was a mixture of bewilderment and disbelief and it was incredibly amusing.

"Good point, I guess I wont matter if I do this then?" he asked and I felt his hand tip my chin up till I was looking into his eyes and his lips press against mine, warm and safe and comforting. I kissed him back, opening my mouth and pushing my tongue forward, he felt _sooo_ good. "Just promise me one thing" he murmured as he pulled away.

"Mmm?" I asked

"Don't ever make me watch you make out with Phil Hunter, or Jo, or anyone else for that matter, again"

"I promise" I laughed and he kissed me again. There we stood, amidst all the activity, confusion, noise, and bright lights, completely oblivious and it was the best feeling in the world. No need to analyse that.

did everyone enjoy that, look down there, reveiw button :) and for those who were looking forward to a punch up i apologise, maybe in the sequal if i ever get around to writing one...


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